Dear Sweetest Ray: A Letter to My Younger Self

Dear sweetest Ray, I am writing you from the future.

Technically, I’m not supposed to write to you, but I can’t help it. You are just 8 years old and have no idea what is in store for you, but I want to give you a heads up and words of encouragement. I want to tell you that you survive.

I know your world was just recently rocked by your parents splitting up and having to move to another province, leaving all your friends behind. Soon you will start to have leg pains – weird pains that feel like cuts and burns on your body – and trouble sleeping.

It's not 'all in your head'

Unfortunately, you will be told this is just "growing pains" and is normal. The reality is these pains and sleeping problems are due to restless legs syndrome and fibromyalgia. You also don’t know that you are an Endo Warrior (someone who suffers from endometriosis) in the making. This is another area where you will be told that it’s normal and not believed, but it’s not in your head at all.

I really want to stress this to you, because you will be told so many times that it’s all in your head. You will finally get answers and feel validated, but it will be when you are an adult. Your health will take you on an incredible journey that will last your entire life.

There will be highs and lows

Things will seem very dark and bleak at points. You will lose family and friends but will gain a very loving and supportive husband. He will be your whole world and make you fall in love with yourself. You will struggle and feel enormous amounts of pain, but don’t worry; there is also tons of joy and laughter coming, too.

Life didn’t deal you a good hand, but you will find a way to make that hand playable. Life won’t be what you imagined it would be, but honestly, that’s for the best.

You will find your people

I am sorry that you are about to go through the hardest time in your life, but the reason I am writing you today is because, despite all that hell, you survive! You come out on the other side an amazing, caring person who helps others in the same boat as you.

Sure, you live with multiple diseases, but the key here is that you are living. You will eventually find your communities online (P.S.: the internet is on its way), and you won’t feel so alone anymore. Here is a saying that rings true for you today: “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.”

I believe in you!

You are so much stronger than you know and have maybe gleaned that from this letter. I can’t tell you everything that’s in store for you, but know you have survived; you are happy and loved. There are good days and bad days, but the good far outnumber the bad.

Oh, and P.S. (technically P.P.S. – yeah, I know that’s not how it’s written, but hey, it’s me.) Anywho, laughter is the best medicine, and my dear, it is a huge tool that will help you beyond words. Your ability to find humor and silver linings will be key to surviving. Oh, and music. Music will be your life and massively therapeutic – yay – because I know you already love music so much.

Much love and support, your biggest fan,
Me