Relationships and Restless Legs Syndrome

Considering a relationship with someone who has been previously diagnosed with restless legs syndrome (RLS) is a hard decision when you are both armed with as many of the facts available.

Continuing a sexual relationship with an RLS sufferer is nigh impossible, as you inevitably do not end up sleeping at the same time. The unafflicted sleeping during the dark hours, whilst we are treading laps round the lounge. The sufferers sleep whenever our legs will let us, normally during the daytime.

Cuddling is a thing of the past

Gone are the romantic cuddles on the sofa whilst watching a soppy movie. We can barely sit still long enough to read the titles!

No evenings lying in each other's arms, enjoying the warmth and closeness. If they even think about touching our legs during the evenings, we hit the roof – let alone lying still for an extended length of time!

Walks and couples yoga

Now, depending on what time of year it is, going for a walk is something we can entertain during the dusk hours. Not too long, mind you, as that can aggravate the creepy feelings even more, leaving us crawling the walls at night, not just wearing out the shag pile.

Mindfulness is a tool some use to try and tackle the ruthlessness of RLS, along with yoga. You could try couples yoga and stretching exercises to bring down the stress that RLS causes. Maybe have a soak in the bath together, always forewarning your partner that they may need to move pretty quickly if your legs start to tense up.

Hold the wine and chocolates!

If love is in the air, signified by the giving of flowers, chocolates, and a bottle of wine, say very nicely – repeat after me — "No, thank you, both chocolates and wine contain stimulants, which make my RLS worse," before beating him around the head with the thornless roses.

Discovering the power of breath

During a hospital visit over 5 years ago, I learned to tap into my core. It may sound like new-age waffle — even I thought so — but I was having cannulas inserted into the back of both hands to have an infusion administered. Over the years and so many procedures, I had become terrified of needles.

This one day, I regulated by breathing, zoned out in my mind, concentrated on breathing in and out at a regular pace, and poof — I had a grasp of my fear. By being "in the moment," I conquered my fear.

Applying this technique to RLS

This very same technique can be used on RLS. You don't need to think about your legs or the feeling. Breathe, concentrate, and grab hold of the anxiousness in the pit of your stomach. It may not always work, especially at the beginning, but if you manage to contain it 1 or 2 nights a week, for 15 minutes at a time, then you may feel a small sense of relief.

My medication keeps me on the relatively straight and narrow. If I get a flare-up out of nowhere, I can't even think about putting this into practice. But on a normal night, lying on my bed, contemplating life, the universe, and everything, I can sometimes breathe.

Has RLS impacted your relationships? How do you cope? How do you relax and find your breath?