Use Your Superpower for Good

The defining factor of restless legs syndrome is the inability to stay still. Whilst this proves to be somewhat of a hindrance during the nighttime hours, what could we achieve if we harnessed our 'superpower' for good?

Imagining what our 'superpower' could be good for

As we stay awake all night pacing the floors, surely we would be ideal candidates for carpet companies to test the longevity of their pile, whereas slipper or shoe brands could use us to ensure the soles on their products have the correct thickness to assure customers that they have considerable value for money.

When our RLS groups in the entire limb group, paint companies should employ us to check wall coverage of their 'one-coat' products. We would be able to paint an entire room in 2 hours flat, and then go on to ensure their 'no-drop bristles' brushes do what they say on the tin.

Local courier businesses could use us for 'direct to' services! We could cover miles in the most amazing turns of speed. Maybe we could even be sponsored by sports companies and technology wizards to test their new smartwatches or pedometers.

Night work has to be where it's at! As long as we can gig on the spot, we are the perfect employees! There has to be a monetary benefit to having this mind-numbing, frustratingly repetitive condition. Becoming a waving man on the front of a forecourt is all I have currently.

The impact of a frustrating condition

Joking aside, our condition has to be one of the most frustrating medical diagnoses you can receive. As if having a condition that makes every limb feel utterly creepy — resulting in you having to move them constantly — isn't bad enough, we have it at night!

Daytime recurrences of RLS are thankfully few and far between; it is not until one evening, when you are sitting in a restaurant praying that the creepiness doesn't manifest too early, the worst thing happens: your knees start to jiggle, culminating in another date night called time on, with no chance of 'intimate relations' as your only companion for the night is the remote control.

The everyday battle against RLS symptoms

It's not until that very moment that you realise just how much RLS interferes with your activities. Try spending an evening in a hot tub attempting to alleviate a symptom of one of your other conditions, only to feel the telltale sign of impending doom. It turns your relaxing night into an evening of fighting your own body.

That is what makes RLS so frustrating. It is not a visitor to your nervous system that has hijacked your body, or a parasite that has hijacked every meal; it is an imbalance. Sometimes not even putting that imbalance straight will calm the beast.

Another round of the fight

Can we have our bouts televised? "Nikki versus RLS, the battle of the melatonin! In the red corner, not having slept more than 4 hours in 3 days, is Nikki! In the blue corner, hailing from the pineal gland, joining us in response to darkness, is Melatonin!"

DING DING. ROUND TWO!