Trying to Be 'Normal'

When you suffer from restless legs syndrome (RLS) you spend a lot of your time trying, but predominantly failing, to be "normal."

"Normal" takes many different forms, like that thing we call "Netflix and chill." Brilliant idea — sitting with a loved one, inhaling the box set of a series, deducing who the murderer is (or is not) whilst eating a share-size bag of candy... except then, add in RLS, and your legs refuse to cooperate. You can't bear to sit still, even if you were having your life threatened.

The frustration of suffering from RLS is so real. All you want to do is be able to sit there. Your legs might give you a 20-second reprieve wherein you do not fidget, stretch, wriggle, or complain; then they decide to go hell for leather, making it impossible to sit or lay still.

My partner suggested I take a shower

During one unbearable evening of the aforementioned nature, it was suggested to me by my partner that I try having a shower — I know, how rude! Upon smelling my armpits, I decided I wasn't too odourous, so why was that the suggestion?!

Apparently, the suggestion was made so that I could douse my knee in either hot or cold water to see which one gave me some relief. "Sound thought process on his behalf," I thought.

The relief of hot water was instantaneous

Off to the bathroom I went, jiggling my leg during the journey, imitating the great prison drama process of removing dirt from your trouser leg! My initial temptation once I arrived in the bathroom was to try a hot shower and untie the knot in my knee.

The relief was instantaneous; the stress left my leg just like the water falling to the floor.

Hot water is best for relieving my body pain

I thought I should do my due diligence and check the cold water idea, too. Oh, my life, my leg tightened up like someone had poked it with a cattle prod!

Hot water was most definitely my friend for tonight's little exercise. As the water was practically at lava temperature, I decided to utilise it to relieve pain elsewhere in my body. When I was finished, the bathroom resembled a sauna.

What RLS is is a taker of sleep, of peace, and of enjoyment. That night it had proven to be a giver of clean armpits and relaxation. Be thankful for small mercies.

Doing the 'Cart Conga'

Even down to the basic tasks of walking 'round the supermarket can prove problematic when you are coming out of a really rough RLS night. Even though your body may have unseized, the pain left in your thighs, knees, and calves can continue throughout the next day, leading to what I call the "Cart Conga."

We all remember the fun of "Doing the Conga" at 1980s wedding receptions, right? Lines of relatives following along behind one another, poking a leg out to the side every 5th step? Well, that is the musical rendition of Cart Conga! 5 steps along a grocery store aisle, then a leg shake to try and ease the pain shooting from your thigh to ankle. RLS is nothing if not trendy!