'And We're Walking' – Overcoming Dread to Go for a Solo Walk

Yes, I love Stargate. This article is going to be a little bit different than what I've usually been doing. I am sitting here in front of my computer at 12:34 PM.

I need to go for a walk. Like, I really need to go for a walk. Like, my legs are hurting so bad I need to go for a walk. And it seems like it is a lovely sunny day out, good for walking.

Walking will be beneficial not just for my restless legs syndrome (RLS) but for my other diseases and overall health, including mental health.

At the same time, I am dreading going for a walk.

Why I dread solo walks outside

"Why?" you ask. Because I have to do this walk all by myself. Now that may not seem like a big deal, but I often feel faint when I constantly experience pain, and I have unresolved hurt issues. Going for a walk solo is scary.

I carry with me the piece of paper that says in case of emergencies, this is who I am, the diseases I have, the medications I'm on, and who to contact in said emergency. I also carry my healthcare card with me. How will my legs behave?

COVID-19 safety concerns

Another reason I am dreading going for this walk is because of COVID-19. I am high-risk and live in an area where there are a lot of people who do not follow the rules properly. Even the building I live in has people who don't follow the rules, including those who are high-risk.

I don't often really feel safe walking around in my neighborhood, and I definitely don't go walking out at night, but COVID-19 has made things worse.

Helping myself feel more at ease

To help with my unease while on walks, I usually text my dad or try to time things around when my husband is going on break. Prior to COVID-19, I would listen to music while going on walks to help me feel more at ease.

I recently completed an interdisciplinary program that focused on chronic pelvic pain. One of the things I learned is that since my body goes into fight-or-flight mode really easily because of having been stuck in it for so long, I can help talk my body down when it's in fight-or-flight mode.

Talking my body through fight or flight mode

For example, while on a walk, if I hear a loud sound that reminds me of a gunshot, I quietly say out loud, "I am safe. I am okay. I am not in any danger. That was not really a gunshot. I am safe. I am okay. I am not in danger."

I repeat this a couple more times, and after around 15 minutes, my body starts to calm down. This is something I used to do internally in my mind, but saying it out loud has helped my body respond faster. I actually was surprised at how much faster.

Getting ready to go outside

Now it's time for me to get ready for the walk. I've got my medicine ready and a bottle of water. Time to check the weather and realize I have to charge my battery on my phone a bit more before I go. High of 28° Celsius (for all you U.S. readers, that is 82.4°F). I don't do well in this heat, but I need to go for a walk.

I hope that this walk doesn't make my RLS worse tonight; always a possibility.