My Relationship With an Alarm Clock

Many years ago, I decided I would try to make peace with a long-time enemy: the alarm clock on my bedside table. I was sure that darn clock was mocking me as I would constantly check his face throughout the night to see how much time was left before his shrill shout would shake me out of bed.

Counting down the hours before I had to get up. 5, 4, 3, maybe I could still get 2 hours in if I nod off right now! Then, just when it seemed I had fallen asleep, that dreaded sound would blast in my ear. I was in an all-out war with that clock. He was somehow in cahoots with my restless legs syndrome (RLS) and insomnia. I was sure of it.

A plan to trick my brain

I decided to take a different, and maybe less conventional approach in this battle I had going with a clock. The problem wasn't really him, really. It was me.

I was going to trick my brain into believing they were just numbers on a dial. Harmless symbols made up long ago that didn't really matter. It seemed like a logical strategy to my sleep-deprived brain. I tried that for a while, and it did make me dislike my clock slightly less.

But it was a weak strategy. I was still dragging myself out of bed, wondering how I'd get through the day. There had to be a better solution. This couldn't go on — time to regroup.

Switching up my schedule

I decided to switch to working the graveyard shift. Surely, that'll trick the dreaded creepy crawlies and make a fool of that clock once and for all. Also, if you're a night owl at heart, like me, there is something nice about being awake while the world outside sleeps.

Unfortunately, this didn't work for long. Somehow, within a month or so, RLS caught on to this new schedule and demanded to be included, this time taking the morning shift. Just as I was climbing into bed, RLS would start.

The clock and I are in a truce

Thus, I found myself back in the battle. I did shift my work hours around and found something that worked a tad better, allowing me to get enough sleep. I had to sacrifice most of my social life to do this, but I knew it wouldn't be forever.

I'm retired now, and the clock and I are in a truce. He doesn't have to bother me anymore unless I really need him to. One thing about RLS, it doesn't care about "respectable hours." It sits in wait to strike when the time is right. For it, not us.

Finding sleep at last

So I've found a schedule that seems to suit my RLS and me the best. I generally fall asleep between 3 or 4 AM and then sleep in until later in the day. I do get a lot of comments about the hours I keep. "You're still up?" and "Oooh, it must be nice to sleep until noon."

I know that most people don't understand the struggles we face just to get some shut-eye, nor our dysfunctional relationships with alarm clocks.