Dreaded Phrases

One of the most dreaded phrases for me is, "Relax your ___, let it go limp." (Insert body part there, like leg for example.) The other dreaded one is, "Hold still."

Having restless legs syndrome makes both of those things challenging, especially the former.

How do you relax when you're in pain?

There are the times I'm told, "Relax your __, let it go limp."

That usually happens when a doctor or specialist does a physical exam and wants to see how my limbs move when the doctor moves them. I am always in a state of pain, anxious, and at this point, have been stuck in an uncomfortable position, so my "Trio of Pain" (RLS, fibromyalgia, and joint hypermobility) is acting up.

This makes it hard to relax, and even though I try to remember the stuff I used to do in contemporary dance classes to relax the body and have limbs be limp, it doesn't always work.

It's not easy to relax on demand

Doctors/specialists seem to think that it's easy to just relax and go limp. I even recently had an encounter where the neurologist wanted me to relax my limbs so he could move them around, and when I apologized for not being able to, he laughed it off.

He quickly became annoyed though as I kept struggling to relax and go limp. I kept apologizing and telling him earnestly that I was trying. He was only on the first limb, but we still had my other leg and both my arms to do. As he kept telling me to relax, I just kept apologizing and saying I was trying.

The doctor was making it worse

He thought he was frustrated, but I was way more frustrated because my body wasn't listening, and I didn't want to seem like I wasn't complying. Authority figures, even doctors, intimidate me, so I don't want to make them mad.

All he was doing was making the situation more stressful and harder for me to relax. I wish I could have told him he was making it stressful and that because of all the pains, it was hard to relax.

Will I be able to hold still when I must?

Then there are times I need to hold still, like for medical imaging, and that fills me with dread. Will I be able to hold still long enough? Will they need to keep redoing it because I can't hold still?

Thankfully, I have been lucky, and each time I manage to hold still. There is a visualization technique that I have been doing ever since I was a little kid. When I was 5 years old, I was going to have a camera inserted in my nose to check out my adenoids because I was having breathing complications, snoring really loud, and sounding stuffed up when I talked.

A visualization technique

I remember my mom prepping me for this by telling me when it happens to go off into my imagination, think of something that I can really visualize, and get lost in it so I can hold still and be distracted all at the same time.

It worked and is something I have used so many times since then that I have lost count. I even do it for something as simple as getting blood drawn for lab work or as complex as having an MRI.

Although, it has now become harder to do because of the "Trio of Pain." I worry that no matter how much I visualize, my body might betray me and move.

What's the most dreaded or annoying phrase you hear? What do you wish doctors and specialists knew about RLS? Share with us in the comments below.