In Days Gone By

Some conditions allow us to continue being an active part of the community; others do not. Comorbidities of restless leg syndrome (RLS) are many, so varied, and debilitating on their own — add in a condition that can creep up at any point during the day, and chaos ensues.

I wake up dreading the symptoms of my multiple conditions

In addition to restless leg syndrome, I suffer from chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, irritable bowel syndrome, allergies, clinical depression, hypertension, stomach ulcers, eczema, and asthma. Each one of these comorbid conditions on its own can cause the symptoms of the others, and then the medication used to treat any one symptom can cause additional conditions! It's a minefield.

Quite often, after my RLS has allowed me to sleep, I wake up with a feeling of dread as to which additional condition is going to hit me first! During the nighttime, when my RLS is refusing to let me sleep, I quite often sit on the sofa remembering the years gone by and what could have been.

I grieve the loss of my freedom and my relationships

I grieve for my life. My job, friends, and family who have long since left, as I am designated a 'flunky' — always cancelling meetings or going home early. Some even question if I am actually suffering from these conditions, as you are "unable to see anything." Invisible illnesses are 95% of my conditions, RLS included. I struggle with the urge to have them stay over one night so they can sit and watch me suffer, like a caged animal.

The loss of freedom is what pains me the most. My career died in 2003; I had just started making headway on becoming a manager, and all the smiles, kindness, hard work, determination, blood, sweat, and tears began to get me seen. Being in pain so much that you cannot walk to work, feeling so tired that you can barely keep your eyes open, looking at figures that make your brain implode... RLS is a small part of a larger picture.

Before my symptoms started in earnest, I was working for the government, had 3 small children, a home, a husband, and the road ahead looked rosy. Now, 19 years later, I can no longer hold down a job, and I am estranged from my 3 children (and my 2 grandchildren). Thankfully I still have a home and a husband, and also a rescue dog (who prefers my husband!).

Sometimes RLS wins the night-long battle

My RLS started up again the other night. I was lying in bed, cuddled up to Ralph, our dog, and out of nowhere my legs started despite the fact that I had taken my medication! In the end, it turned into a night-long battle between my legs and sleep. My RLS won. This was the first night Ralph had experienced my legs in full force.

In the morning I crawled out of bed, bleary-eyed, dark circles, and looking like I needed a good night's sleep (oh, the irony!), whereas Ralph flopped off the end of the bed, dragged his tired body to the kitchen, ate his breakfast, did his ablutions up the garden, and then promptly fell asleep on the sofa until his lunchtime.

It turns out RLS affects Basset Hounds, too!